Doubting Thomas
Call me “Doubting Thomas,” come on, I dare ya. Do it. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been a bit of a doubter recently. Even coming fresh out of the Lenten season – a time for reflection, for rededication and focusing in on our faith, and then rejoicing in the Resurrection of the Lord, I’ve still been a bit of a doubter. I can think of three specific instances where I’ve been nothin’ but a doubter. And in each of these times, as always, God has proven that if I just had a little more faith – and a lot less doubt – I’d see that my stress and worries were completely, utterly and totally pointless.
In an attempt to get most of our Engaged Encounter weekends done (way before the Convention-work intensifies), we’d done something perhaps a bit foolish. We’d signed up for two EE weekends in three weekends. That’s right. We had one weekend off in-between presenting on Engaged Encounter retreats. Nutty? Yes. Our two boys (ages 4 & 6) thought it was genius – they got TWO sleepover weekends (one with our best friends – Seattle Coordinators Jason & Rebecca Burdullis – and the other one with my parents). When Friday night of wEEkend #2 rolled around we weren’t thinking it was quite so genius. We were TIRED. Spent. A wEE burned out. And then to make matters worse, the EE retreat got off to the rockiest start we’ve ever had for an EE retreat. There was mass confusion with the facility causing angst for the facility, angst for the hosting couples, angst for us – the presenting teams, and just all around confusion for the engaged couples. We ended Friday evening with one of the couples suffering a serious medical emergency and heading to the hospital. The point of all this is to say, that we spent most of the weekend trying to stop worrying about the details, the facility, the rough start to the weekend. We needed to just be present for the couples. We KNOW that Engaged Encounter weekends always work out the way they’re meant to. We KNOW that the Spirit is always working. We KNOW that we should never doubt the goodness of a weekend. And yet, we kinda-sorta did…but, despite getting off to a tumultuous start, as always, the Engaged Encounter experience ended up being life-giving for everyone involved.
Doubting Thomas episode #2: My marvelous Spousal Unit announced that 6 ½ year old Matthew was ready to have the training wheels removed from his bicycle. I doubted him. I SO doubted them both. I was all: “No WAY is Matthew ready for that.” (Read: No way am I ready for that). Thinking that we were all in for an emotional roller coaster bike-ride, I told Mike that – seeing as it was his idea – practicing with Matthew would be HIS job. They probably only practiced for a total of ten minutes on three different days. Then, this past Sunday, it was announced that Matthew had something to show me. I watched with a lump in my throat as Matthew confidently rode down our street completely unassisted. I was awed and amazed. Mike gave me the tiniest bit of an “I told you so” look. He was ready. I just wasn’t. I should’ve had more faith.
Lastly, and finally getting to my point: Convention. Ahhh, yes, Convention. The new member of our family. Convention has unpacked his/her bags and has moved in for the next several months taking up space in our home (literally – Convention paraphernalia is filling up one corner of the laundry room). It’s natural, for aspects of planning this big event to cause stress, fear and…doubt. We’ve already experienced the whole romance-disillusionment-joy cycle thing with this Convention…a few times! We’ve had struggles in nearly every aspect of the planning thus far – most recently when our anticipated smokin’ deal on merchandise (shirts, fleece jackets, hats) totally fell through. We had to start over from scratch. But, as always, had I just had more faith, had I put the doubting immediately out of my head, I could’ve saved some stress. Because, sure enough, we quickly found a new shirt person who will be great and still get us a great deal. It will work out. It always works out. The t-shirts, the bicycle-riding, the Engaged Encounter weekends…the Convention. They always work out.
Mark 17:20 “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed…Nothing will be impossible for you.”
‘Til next time...
Lots of love and prayers,
Jenny & Mike Martin
Rich & Sue Stockinger